I want to create something!

Sometimes I get it the mood to make something beautiful.

Like right now. I want to make music. Composing it would be fine, or performing. But guess what? I cannot do either.

I can hear something, and tell that it is beautiful. I am very good at analyzing music… but I just can’t create it! Nor can I play it very well. My sister has amazing piano skill she takes for granted. A song I struggled with off and on for a month to get one hand at a time slowly… she could sight read both hand at near full speed.
With practice I can get better at a song, but not at playing. When I mess up, I cannot gracefully recover.

It is similar with visual art. I wish I could express the imagery in my mind on paper (or some other format) but my hands are incapable. I can only draw well when I trace, and even then it looks like the work of a child.

I am left-handed. Doesn’t that mean I’m supposed to be more creative?

I often argue that my art is in writing code. I express my creativity through programming. But this is something very few people can appreciate – most would rather not even try.
Occasionally I can be creative with words, but I tend not to write about beautiful things.

It is a stange feeling, the desire to create. It is even more strange to be unable to.

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